Welcome to Cold Chronicles, our new series where we dissect and analyse some of the most famous and influential cold emails that have graced inboxes. Each week, we'll bring you a candid, down-to-earth examination of notable cold emails, from startup founders trying to get their big break, to seasoned executives sealing major deals.
We'll explore how these seemingly simple messages employ language, tone, and timing to weave magic and open doors. So grab your beverage of choice,and get ready to tear apart some fantastic cold emails - where every word counts and the right phrase can turn the tide.
In the first instalment of Cold Chronicles, we’re taking a look at Allie Janoch’s cold emails to attempt to gain funding for Mapistry back in 2015.
Here is the key:
Prospect-centric
Adding value
Offer/ solution / information provided
Pitch
CTA
Pain point
Allie Janoch <allie@mapistry.com>
10/1/15
to jason
Hi Jason,
Thanks for chatting with me for a few minutes yesterday at Berkeley about "uber for enterprise". The "uber for enterprise" thesis really hit home for me, it's exactly what we're doing at Mapistry by replacing environmental consultants and professionals.
We are doing $2K in MRR at the moment, but I would love to talk to you more when we get 10x revenue. I know you don't typically grab coffee with companies until you are ready to invest, so can I reach out to you in a few months when we are ready to discuss investment?
Thanks,
Allie Janoch
CEO | Mapistry.
We do not have the subject line here, and the salutation “Hi Jason” is a little outmoded in 2024 (when even a salutation is dead space!) but perfectly fine for 2015.
Allie’s ‘cold’ email is absolutely exemplary for one which attempts to gain the attention of a senior with reference to a shared conversation “for a few minutes yesterday at Berkeley”.
Where her email falters slightly is the second sentence, where she claims that the “uber for enterprise” is “exactly what we’re doing at Mapistry”. Although this may be true to some extent, the context of the rest of the email leads us to assume this claim is aspirational, which undermines the authority of the piece. Allie’s framing of “uber for enterprise” not only aims to contextualise Mapistry’s mission but also seeks to make it relatable and memorable for Jason.
Moreover, the transparency of sharing that “we are doing $2K in MRR at the moment”, coupled with the relevant personalisation of “I know you don’t typically grab coffee”, finished off with a clear yet soft CTA, makes this a textbook cold email.
Allie never received a reply! How many perfectly-crafted cold emails suffer the same fate.
Perhaps one issue is the lack of a pain point. Although her email clearly indicates that she understands Jason and his frame, the burning pain of a problem being solved is lacking, which removes urgency from the equation.
Thankfully, we have the privilege of seeing her second attempt to Jason from 2017, which throws the previous attempt into relief.
Date: Thu, Oct 19, 2017 at 5:50 PM
Subiect: Mapistry --SaaS for environmental regulations -- Fortune 500 Customers -- Seed
Hi Jason,
My name is Allie, and I am the CEO of Mapistry. Mapistry is a SaaS application for environmental regulations at industrial facilities. Environmental regulations are notoriously confusing and complicated, yet the technology used to manage them is usually no more sophisticated than excel spreadsheets and email. This system leaves manufacturing companies vulnerable to multi-million dollar lawsuits and severe damage to their brand.
Traction & numbers:
customers include Fortune 500 companies like 3M, Republic Services, Tesla and Procter & Gamble
growing 15% month over month
September revenue: $67K
fully ramped, our existing customer base corresponds to a $4M run rate.
United States TAM: $3.7B ($1T environmental market globally)
You can check out more details about Mapistry in a short deck here.
I am raising a seed round of funding for Mapistry to maximise on our recent momentum, expand our product to other environmental domains (focused on stormwater to date), and continue to develop software that automates services traditionally provided by environmental consultants.
I've been following SaaStr for a while. In particular, I saw your talk with Veeva from the SaaStr conference and I'd love to talk to you about how we fit into this trend of vertical SaaS. One of the reasons so few companies are using software for environmental compliance is that the only tools available are so unspecific and horizontal that the customizations required are so immense, they become unrealistic.
I liked what Peter had to say about services. We also feel very strongly that we have great people and we aren't going to give their time away for free. We like to think of our environmental services as being paid for sales and/or customer success. In fact, I just did a quick, back of the envelope calculation, and looks like we've been doing about 35% profit margins on our services for 2017, which has been a nice source of revenue for the rest of the company while we get off the ground.
I'd love to schedule a time for a 30-minute phone call or coffee. Do you have any time the week after next?
Allie Janoch
CEO | Mapistry
First and foremost, the subject line is stellar - at once descriptive, visually compelling, and curiosity-inducing, it is the perfect way to initiate an email.
Moreover, whilst Allie’s previous attempt had started by referencing their brief conversation, her 2017 email frames her as a CEO, and introduces Mapistry off the bat. Whilst this may come off as salesy, the incredibly specific pain point that follows it indicates that this isn’t a generic pitch, and allows for the indulgence of opening the email referring to oneself, which can be considered bad practice in the present day.
Leading with the pain is best practice, as it foregrounds the reason for Allie's business and in turn, the reason for the email.
Next, by providing specific financial figures, customer names, and market potential (TAM of $3.7B), Allie crafts a compelling narrative that demonstrates the company’s traction and future potential. Moreover, by using jargon and industry-specific terminology, Allie positions her and Jason within the in-group to signal status and belonging.
The presentation of a small deck with a link for each of access is exemplary, indicating respect for Jason’s time, whilst not labouring the deliverability of the email by attaching it directly, which could lead to it being directed to spam.
Furthermore, her mention of a recent funding round this time is combined with the reasons for the round, (“maximising momentum”, “expanding product,” and “continuing to develop software.”) and this added specificity builds towards the CTA, adding context for the email without being explicit.
This line of reasoning comes to a head when Allie mentions Jason’s talk, and connects the dots that they could collaborate on the SaaS vertical, before providing another pain point! Although not strictly necessary, Allie is indicating that the collaboration has been well-thought out.
By mentioning insights from industry leaders like Peter and highlighting their 35% profit margin for 2017, Allie demonstrates that Mapistry is knowledgeable and profitable. Explaining how these profits help sustain the business highlights smart financial management and long-term planning, making a strong case for investment and immediate engagement.
Finally, unlike the reserved proposition in the 2015 email, Allie now concludes with a strong, specific call to action, suggesting a 30-minute phone call or coffee meeting with two potential times. This not only prompts immediate engagement but also simplifies decision-making for Jason - whereas the 2015 email follows best-practice with a soft CTA, this email has provided such a fulsome narrative and so much context that the strong CTA is justified.
Are there some things that could be different? Sure.
Leading with so much personal context may only work with seniority - otherwise, being prospect-centred is preferable
Two pain points and two CTAs is one too many
It could be a little shorter
Would you have considered this email worth responding to?
Jason certainly did! The very next year he led Mapistry’s seed funding round of $2.5m.
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